Meg Gets Adopted
by Jemascola
Summary: Meg gets a new family after Peter throws her out of the house.
1. Horseshoes

Meg Gets Adopted

Chapter 1: Horseshoes

(Family Guy Theme Song Begins)

_It seems today_

_That all you see_

_Is violence in movies_

_And sex on TV_

_But where are those good old-fashioned values?_

_On which we used to rely?_

_Lucky there's a family guy_

_Lucky there's a man who_

_Positively can do_

_All the things that make us…_

_Laugh and cry_

_He's a Family Guy…_

(Setting: Quahog, Rhode Island; 4:00 pm; Present Day)

It was a lovely Friday afternoon in Quahog, Rhode Island. Lois arrived back at the house after picking up Stewie from daycare, and Chris and Meg were on their way home from school. Peter and Brian were in the backyard playing ring toss with horseshoes.

"Okay, Brian, I bet you $100 I can get these three horseshoes on the post in only three throws," Peter said. He flung the first horseshoe. It missed, and it got caught in a tree. "Hold on, that was a practice throw," Peter lied. He went up to the tree and took down the horseshoe. "This time's for real." He hurdled the horseshoe at the post with all his might, but instead, it flew toward Joe's house and smashed his window.

"Damn it, Peter!" Joe shouted from inside.

Peter took his second horseshoe and tried to throw it, only to have himself spin around very quickly. "Who-whoa!" he shouted.

Brian sighed, "Peter, just give it up, you've already lost."

Peter said, "No, hold on, I can do this…" He then threw the horseshoe down on the ground and hit his foot. "Ow! Ow! Ow!" Brian shook his head and walked out of the backyard and into the house. Peter was unaware that Brian had left. He kept throwing the horseshoe every which way except on the post. Finally, after nearly 500 throws, he got one horseshoe on the post. "Ha, you see that, Brian? That's one. Now, another two to go…Brian? Brian? Where'd you go?" Peter wondered.

Inside, Lois entered the front door with Stewie at her feet. "Hey, Brian, we're home. Where's Peter?"

"Oh, he's in the backyard playing horseshoe toss with himself. He's losing bad, though. And if you want to know what I mean, take a look at Joe's window," Brian said.

"Oh my…" Lois gasped when she went outside. She saw the large blow in the window that Peter made when he threw the horseshoe. Suddenly, two more holes went through his window. Peter had misthrown another two.

"That's it, Peter!" exploded Joe. He burst out of his house and rolled over to Peter in the backyard. "I'm kicking your ass!"

Lois, Stewie, and Brian went back inside the house, listening to Peter get beaten up outside. Then, Chris and Meg entered the house. "Hi, guys," they both said.

"Hi, kids," Lois said to them.

"Who's that yelling in the backyard?" Meg asked.

"Oh, that's your father. He's getting beaten up by Joe," Lois explained.

"What did he do?" Chris asked.

"Well…" Brian started, "…let's just say it had to do with something about Peter being a bad player at horseshoe toss."

The yelling stopped, and Peter stumbled into the house. His shirt was ripped up, and his hair was ruffled. He had a bunch of cuts and bruises all over his body. He even had a black eye. "I've learned a lesson: never play with horseshoes around Joe again," Peter said.

"No, no, Fatman, that's not what you should have learned. The real lesson is…YOU SUCK AT HORSESHOES!" Stewie exclaimed.

"Well, well…somebody's cranky," Lois said. "Time to go to bed, young man."

"Lois, it's 4:00," Brian pointed out.

"Time out, then, I don't care," Lois said. She took Stewie up to his room.

Suddenly, Chris tagged Meg and yelled, "You're it!"

"Not for long," Meg said. "I'm going to get you, Lardo!" However, Chris was too fast for her. She had trouble catching up with him.

"Ha ha ha!" Chris yelled.

"Another typical Friday afternoon, eh, Lois?" Brian asked when she returned.

"Guess so," she replied.

"Hey, why don't I do you later tonight?" Brian suggested.

"What was that?" Lois asked, sounding shocked.

"Nothing, I didn't say anything. I mean, why would I have said…look, over there," Brian said, quickly changing the subject. Lois looked away, and Brian hurried off to the basement.


	2. Hide and Seek

Chapter 2: Hide and Seek

The family gathered together again at 7:00 for dinner. They were eating corn on the cob. They said grace and began to eat and talk about their day.

"Peter, how was work…before you played horseshoes?" Lois asked.

"Aw, it was great, Lois. Me and the guys caught one ton of fish," Peter said.

"A ton? That's amazing!" Lois said.

"Well, I do have to provide for my family, so it's just something I have to do," Peter said. "And just what productive thing did _you_ do today, Lois? Did you just loaf around watching the crappy new episodes of _That 70s Show_?"

(Cut to scene in _That 70s Show_. Everyone except Kelso and Eric are in Eric's basement. "Dude…where the hell is Kelso and Foreman?" asked Steven. "I don't know," Jackie said. "If Eric's gone, then what the hell are we doing in his basement?" Fez asked. "I don't know," Jackie said. Just then, Red burst into the basement with a rifle. "You kids get the hell out of my basement!" He fired the gun, but a white flag came out that said "Bang, you're dead." "I swear, the writers who write the new episodes of this show are full of total (bleep)," Steven said. "Yeah," Donna said. "We'll probably be cancelled soon." Cut back to the Griffin house.)

"No, _Peter_, for your information, I did housework and cleaned after _your_ messes. I can't believe you actually crapped all over the couch last night!" Lois exclaimed.

"My monkey ripped my bedsheets, Mom," Chris said.

"Chris, will you shut up about that stupid monkey already? It's getting on our nerves!" Meg said.

"Uh, Meg, honey, could you not say a word again? You're really getting kinda boring," Peter said.

"How was _that_ boring!" Meg exclaimed in disgust. "All I said was…" Peter walked over to Meg and lifted her out of her seat and threw her out into the living room. She then peeked through the door. "You can't throw your daughter out!" she yelled back.

Peter picked up her dishes and handed them to her. He pointed outside. "Honey, you're going to eat in the doghouse tonight."

"What! Why?" Meg asked.

"Do I need a reason?" Peter said.

"Yes…" Meg said.

"Just get the hell out of my sight before I have to chase you with scissors again," Peter said. Meg sobbed as she went outside to eat in the doghouse.

Later that night, Chris and Stewie were watching _Bad Santa_ on the Comedy channel. Meg then entered the house again with her plates in hand. Her eyes looked red, as though she'd been crying. "Where's Dad?" Meg asked.

"He's out on the patio drinking beers with Joe, Cleveland, and Quagmire," Chris said.

Meg left briefly to put her dishes in the kitchen. She then stormed into the patio. There, she saw Peter talking with the guys. "I can't believe you made me go outside and eat in the doghouse!" Meg yelled.

The guys looked at Peter with a strange look. "What are you talking about, Meg? You must be thinking about Brian," Peter said. He then turned to the guys. "She's just going crazy. She's been this way since that time –"

Meg didn't hear the flashback Peter said, as she shut the door to the patio and ran upstairs to her room. Nothing much else happened that night. The family went upstairs and went to sleep.

Peter had planned to take the family out on a fishing trip the next day on Saturday, but unfortunately, a thunderstorm started during the night, and lots of rain poured down on the house. Thunder and lightning was also abundant.

The entire family had gathered in the living room to think of something to do. "Hmm…" Peter thought. "I know! Let's go play hide and seek! The couch is base, and whoever loses the game has to stay outside for the rest of the weekend." His eyes slowly rolled over in Meg's direction. "I'll be it," Peter said. He went to the couch and counted from 1 to 10. The others scattered out in different directions. When Peter finished counting, he began to hunt for the others.

Peter looked behind the couch, and instantly, he found Chris. Before he could tag Chris, though, Chris touched the couch. "New rule," Peter said. "Next time, don't hide by the couch. Cheater…" He then checked the rest of the living room for any family members. None were present, so he moved on to the kitchen. He heard some rustling in the cabinets below, and he opened them.

Stewie came tumbling out with a knife. "DIE, FATMAN!" he shouted. "Oh…wait…we're playing hide and seek…I might get tagged." Stewie barreled out of the kitchen and touched the couch. "In your face, father!" Stewie yelled.

Peter then checked upstairs for anyone hiding. He heard someone panting in the bathroom. He thought he knew who it was. He slowly opened the door, and he was right. Only he was horribly disgusted at what he saw. Brian was in the bathroom jacking off to a picture of a girl in a Playboy magazine. "Oh yeah…ah…man that feels good. OH…I'm about to lose it…AGH…man, I have to do this every day for the rest of my life!"

"Brian?" Peter asked suspiciously. Brian stopped jacking off and shoved his Playboy magazine behind the toilet and ran around the bathroom yelling. Peter chased Brian around, but Brian ran out and went downstairs, touching the couch. "You suck," Peter said from the stairs. "And seriously, don't let me catch you jacking off again…that's just nasty."

Peter looked right and left for anybody that might be hiding. Suddenly, he heard a noise in his bedroom. Could it be Lois or Meg? Could it be Chris's evil monkey? Peter wanted to know. He stepped inside and saw a big lump on his bed. "Oh, come on, that was TOO easy, Lois," Peter said. He threw open the bedsheets, and he saw a giant package of condoms. "Crap," he said, throwing the bedsheets back in place.

"Hey…Peter…" a nasaly voice called from the closet. Peter opened the closet door and saw Lois in a sexy black bra.

"Oh, Lois…you're hott," Peter said, stopping in his tracks. "I'm gonna get you!" he said, beginning to charge toward her. But Lois slipped underneath Peter's legs, and Peter spun around and hurried as fast as he could after Lois. She darted downstairs, touching the couch. "Ah, man, I almost had you," Peter said. "Can I still nail you later?"

"Peter, let's finish the game already," Brian said.

"Oh, right," Peter said.

Peter went back upstairs to look for Meg. This was a close game. If she made it to the couch, Peter would have to stick to his word and stay outside for the rest of the weekend. He hoped to tag her and get her out. Peter checked every square inch of the upstairs, but there was no sign of Meg. He then forgot about the attic. Peter grabbed the pull string to the attic door, and unfolded the ladder and went up. He looked around. "Anybody up here?" he asked.

"Yes…" a voice said. Peter ran over to a dark corner of the attic where the voice came from. But he was shocked when he jumped back and saw a rotten skeleton crawling with ants. "You wanted to see me?" the skeleton asked. Its jawbone even moved.

"Ahh! Ahh!" Peter yelled, starting to run from the attic.

Suddenly, there was giggling. Peter shot his head around. He saw the back of Meg's head behind some boxes. She couldn't help but laugh at the skeleton. It turned out that it was one of Stewie's old inventions that he did not get working correctly. "Meg!" Peter said. He saw her head duck underneath the boxes. "Come on out, I know you're there!" Meg didn't move. Peter walked around the boxes and spotted her. "I got you now!"

Meg then ran out of the attic, leaving Peter in the dust. "Oh-no, kid, you're going down!" Peter said, starting to gain momentum. Meg and Peter ran down the stairs. Meg looked back and got worried. Peter was right behind her now. She had to hurry if she were to make the couch. Meg was almost at the couch, when she felt the unfortunate tap of Peter's hand.

"You'rrree OUT!" Peter said, saying it like an umpire in baseball.

"W-w-wait. Can we play this again?" Meg asked.

"Nope. Sorry, honey. You're gonna have to stay outside the rest of the weekend," Peter said.

"What!" Meg yelled.

Peter slapped her hard on the cheek. "Get the fuck out of my house, bitch."

"But dad…" Meg whined.

"GET OUT OF HERE!" Peter yelled. He picked Meg up and took her into the kitchen and opened the back door. He then threw her out into the backyard. She landed headfirst onto the grass. The kitchen door slammed.


	3. Child Services

Chapter 3: Child Services

It was still raining hard outside. Peter had just thrown poor Meg outside after she lost a game of hide and seek. Her glasses were skewed, and her hair was covered in dirt as well as her face. She started crying. It seemed that Peter hated her again, and now to make matters worse, she wasn't even welcome in her own home.

She slowly got up and brushed herself off and adjusted her glasses. She looked back at the house. "Now what am I going to do?" she sighed. There wasn't much place for her to go. Meg walked around the house and went to the front yard. She saw the car. If the car were unlocked, she could stay there and be sheltered from the rain. She started toward the car, but all of a sudden, the other Griffins filed out of the house and got in the car.

"We ought to do this more often, Peter," Lois said. Her green blouse was back on.

"Yeah, Dad. It'll be sweet going out for ice cream," Chris said.

"Wait for me…" Meg called after them. But it was too late. The car had backed out, and it left the house, leaving nothing but smoke in Meg's face. She looked sad as the car drove off without her. Almost instantly, though, the car spun around and turned back toward the house. Meg smiled, feeling hopeful they were coming back to pick her up. The Griffins pulled into the driveway and got out of the car and went into the house.

"Darn it, we forgot somebody," Peter said, going inside. Meg started to approach the door, but the Griffins came right back out, holding Stewie. "I can't believe we forgot our good son, Stewie," Peter said.

"Yes, yes," Stewie said. "I can't believe you had the nerve to forget all about me…Stewart Gilligan Griffin. **I'm only a baby, you know!** I'll have the police paddle you hard for neglect! And then world domination will be mine!"

"Oh, it looks like somebody is cranky," Lois said. "If you don't behave, you won't get any ice cream. So, is everyone here?"

"I'm not –" Meg started.

"Yeah, Lois, everyone's here. C'mon, let's go," Peter said. He then locked the front door, which left out the hope for Meg to go inside while they were gone. The Griffins got in the car and backed out, leaving Meg behind. This time when they left, a large puddle of water splashed all over Meg. She sat on the sidewalk and sulked. Her family forgot all about her…again. She bent down and started crying.

"Why do they treat me like this!" she sobbed. "What did I ever do to them!" She continued crying, and the rain poured harder.

About an hour later, the Griffins returned home. They got out of the car and went to the front door.

"That was nice of you to take us out for ice cream, Peter," Brian stated.

"Yeah, thanks, Dad," Chris said.

Peter giggled his famous giggle. "Hey, let's go inside, watch TV, and make fun of Bill O'Riley and Larry King as a family," Peter said. The other Griffins seemed excited by that idea. Peter unlocked the front door, and all the Griffins went inside except Meg. Peter then shut the door behind him. Meg could hear Peter lock the door from inside, so there was no chance for her to go back in.

Cars passed up and down the street, the sound of their windshield wipers abundant. Meg happened to notice one red car that passed down the street what seemed like every half hour. The car was a red Toyota Camry that with a golden license plate. Meg continued to sulk, but wondered why the car kept passing by so frequently.

A while later, the car suddenly stopped in front of Meg. A woman got out of the car and walked up to her. "Young lady, I've noticed that you have been sitting here alone on this curb sulking in the rain. Are you okay?"

"Well…my family locked me out of the house. See, we were playing a game of hide and seek, and my dad said that the loser of the game had to spend the weekend out in the rain. Unfortunately for me, I lost, so I'm stuck out here," Meg complained.

"Your _dad_ is behind this? Gee, what an idiot," the woman mumbled. "Get in the car," she told Meg.

Meg got in the front seat next to the woman, feeling glad to get out of the rain. She was soaked so badly that a puddle nearly formed on the floor of the car. The woman began to drive and took Meg out of the neighborhood. Meg felt uneasy. She barely even knew this woman, and she was being taken some place away from home. "W-where are we going?" Meg asked.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Pardon me for not introducing myself. I'm from child services. I'm taking you to a building downtown where you'll be looked over until we can find another family for you," the woman said. Meg seemed confused. "Honey, it seems that your dad has really put you through a lot of rough times. You shouldn't have to live with it."

The two went downtown and eventually parked at a brick building. The two came out of the car and entered the building. The woman led Meg to a little room in the back with a cot, tiled floor, a dresser, a closet, and not much else. She then left to inform the office of her arrival. They filled out paperwork and worked out the legalities and whatnot. Meg felt uncertain as to how long she would stay at the strange building and hoped it would be over soon.


	4. Meg's New Family

Chapter 4: Meg's New Family

Meg had been at the child services building for about a month and was getting sick of it. There was very little to do there except read or interact with the others there. She didn't particularly want to interact, though, as she did not find anything in common with the others.

One day, that all changed, though. The same woman that had given Meg a ride earlier came into her room and informed her that a family had chosen to take care of her. Meg was overjoyed. She was then taken into the lobby to meet the new family.

The man was tall and wore a white T-shirt and blue jeans. He had neatly-trimmed brown hair and wore glasses. His face had sharp edges and was box-like. The woman was shorter, and had puffy brown hair, wore a pale green blouse, and had blue shorts. She wore glasses as well, but they were semi-circular. There was even a boy that came along. He was short and tubby and had reddish-blonde hair in the style of a buzz cut.

"Howdy, there," the man said in his deep, slightly Southern voice. "My name is Hank. What's your name?"

"I'm Meg," Meg said.

The man stretched his arm out, and Meg shook his hand. He had a nice, firm handshake. "This is my wife, Peggy."

"How are you, dear?" Peggy asked.

"And this is my son, Bobby," Hank said.

"Hey, there, cute stuff," Bobby said.

"Bobby, hush, that's enough," Hank said to him quietly.

The woman then took Meg aside. "We'll speak to you in a moment," she said. "So, Meg, do you like this family?"

"Yeah, they seem pretty nice. I guess I'll go with them," Meg said.

"Okay, that sounds good," the woman said.

She then took Meg back to the family and informed them that she would be in their hands. They were all very excited and went to the main desk to fill out the adoption papers. After about ten minutes, the family left with Meg.

They led her to a red Ford F-150 pickup truck. Hank and Peggy got in the front seats, while Meg and Bobby sat in the back. Hank started the truck and then drove off.

"Where did you live before?" Peggy asked.

"Quahog," Meg replied. "Where do you live?"

"Good ol'e Texas," Hank said. It'll be a long drive from here to there."

While Hank was driving, Bobby tried to get Meg to play the license plate game, where they called out license plates from various different states. Meg was not very interested, though. She had other things on her mind. The family seemed fairly nice, but they were practically on the other side of the country. Meg had never been that far away from home before, and now she was going to stay there. She realized that Texas was her new home, and she would have to adjust. She also felt uneasy about the new family, fearing they might treat her the same way the Griffins treated her.

Night time came, and Hank drove over to an old motel to spend the night. He went into the lobby and requested a room. He was given room 512, and then, he and the others walked down the long walkway to eventually find room 512. Hank took the card given to him and opened the door with it. The room had two beds and looked very neatly kept.

"Hmm…it seems there's only two beds here," Hank said. "No matter. Peggy and I will sleep on the floor. Bobby, you and Meg can sleep in the beds."

"Really? Oh, thank you, sir," Meg said, hugging him.

"You're welcome," Hank laughed.

They got settled in the room, and then, Hank and Peggy got on the floor to sleep, while Bobby and Meg slept in the beds. They turned the TV on, and they watched it as they fell asleep. Meg felt a little better about her new family. They seemed nice and very hospitable. Peter had never given her that much respect before. She slowly closed her eyes and fell asleep.


	5. Home At Last

Chapter 5: Home At Last

Another three days passed for Meg as she and the others continued traveling cross country in the truck. She was still quiet, though, although Hank and the others had been very nice to her. It was still difficult for her to adjust.

By the morning of the third day, Hank drove into Texas. Meg grew more excited, as she knew she was getting closer to her new home. She wondered what it would look like. Later that evening, Hank drove into a little alley and then drove up to a garage with two doors. He parked the truck in the driveway. "We're here!" Hank announced.

Meg got out of the truck and looked at the house. It was a one-level house that was painted beige. It had a brown roof. Everything looked so neat and well-kept. She gazed at the well manicured lawn and the porch with the ceramic table. There was a sliding glass door to go inside.

"Sir, you've done a real nice job of keeping your house fixed up," Meg said.

Hank laughed, "Thank you, Meg. I'll admit, I am pretty keen with my lawn mower."

"My old dad couldn't use a lawn mower if his life depended on it. My old brother, Chris, always had to do it for him," Meg said.

"What do you think he did before Chris came around?" Hank wondered.

Meg thought. "I don't know," she said honestly.

Hank walked up to the sliding glass door and opened it for everyone to get inside the house. "Meg, we'll show you around the house so you can get familiar with it," Hank said. Meg nodded, and then, everyone led Meg on a tour around the house. When the tour was through, they returned to the living room. Suddenly, an old brown dog walked into the room. It looked old and decrepit. It walked slowly and limped along.

"Who's that?" Meg asked.

"Oh, this is our dog, Ladybird," Hank said.

"My family had a talking dog," Meg said.

Hank and Peggy looked at each other with a puzzled reaction. Peggy then looked at the clock. "Hank, it's getting late, we'd better get to bed. Come on, Meg, we'll show you to your room." Meg was excited. She couldn't wait to see what her room looked like. Hank led Meg to the hallway, where he pulled down the string that opened the attic door. The stairs fell down, and Hank led Meg upstairs.

At first, she saw a small, dark room with a bunch of boxes. The room didn't look very comfortable, and Meg feared that Hank was about to start treating her badly. But then she saw a partition with a door on it. Hank opened the door and Meg went inside.

Meg loved her new room. It was painted pink and white and looked very well furnished. "Thanks," Meg smiled, "you shouldn't have gone to all this trouble for me."

"I wanted to, Meg," Hank said. "You deserve it."

Meg went downstairs and got her bags and started to unpack. Then, Hank went downstairs and shut the attic door. Meg got in her new bed and fell asleep.


	6. Back in Quahog

Chapter 6: Back in Quahog

Meanwhile, on the other side of the country, Peter was on the sofa drinking beer, Lois was dusting the furniture, Chris played video games in his room, Brian was on the computer watching televised news clips of Tom and Diane on Quahog 5, and Stewie was in his crib sleeping.

Peter sipped his Pawtucket beer and sighed, "Ah…life is good."

Lois entered the room. "Enjoying yourself, Peter?"

"Oh yeah, Lois. Things have suddenly got a lot more interesting around here since last month," Peter said.

"Peter…I kind of feel bad about what happened…" Lois said.

"Ah! Ah!" Peter said. "Let a man drink his beer in peace, will ya, Lois?"

"But Peter…I feel bad for Meg. I mean, you really trashed her. You actually made her eat outside, and then threw her out in the rain. You're a pretty horrible father, Peter. I can't believe you'd treat her that way!"

Peter gulped down more of his beer. "Who's Meg, Lois? I don't remember any Meg. Man, I haven't felt this happy in years!"

Lois said, "We don't even know where she is. She could be dead now for all we know!"

"Yay!" Peter exclaimed. Lois slapped Peter. "Hey, I know," Peter said, not taking the message. "Let's turn Meg's old room into an arcade!" He then rushed upstairs and threw all of Meg's old things out of the window. "Heheheheheheheheheheh…bye, garbage," Peter said. He then rushed to the basement and hauled a pool table into Meg's room. He then went back and forth between Meg's old room and the basement, and soon enough, there was a game room equipped with a pool table, an air hockey table, and a PS3. "Something's missing, though…" Peter said. He looked around the room and saw the pink walls and the lacy curtains. "The girl stuff has to go," he said. He took down the lace curtains and threw them out the window. He then painted the room black. The room looked like an official arcade!

"Peter, you can't just turn her room into an arcade. We don't know for sure if she's dead or not," Lois said.

"She's dead, Lois," Peter hushed, "now leave me alone." He went to his PS3 and started playing.

"Fine, but if you won't look for her, I will," Lois said. She went downstairs, leaving Peter alone in the arcade.

Peter was silent for a few moments. He didn't utter a word. "Man…I feel really guilty right now." There was another long silence. "I should have remembered to get some neon lights for this room while I was still in the basement! Darn it!" Peter paused his game and went to the basement to get the neon lights.


	7. The Phone Call

Chapter 7: The Phone Call

The next morning, Meg woke up in her new room. She yawned and smiled at the setting. Hank had spent so much time preparing the room for her. She thought he was very nice.

"Meg!" Peggy called from downstairs. "Are you awake?"

"Yes," Meg yelled back.

"It's time for breakfast. We're having pancakes," Peggy said.

Meg got excited and got dressed. She then went downstairs to the kitchen, where the family had gathered. Hank was at the grill, flipping the pancakes. "Good morning, Meg. How'd you sleep?" Hank asked.

"Very well. Thanks a lot," Meg said. "I'm very grateful for all you've done."

"It's no trouble at all," Hank said. He walked over to the stove, where bacon was sizzling. "You like bacon?" he asked.

"Oh, I love bacon!" Meg said.

"Great, 'cause I've already taken the liberty to fix some bacon for breakfast," Hank said. "I hope you like the way I cook it. This stove is powered by sweet lady propane."

"It doesn't matter how it's cooked, I'm sure I'll like it," Meg said.

Bobby looked at Meg. "Do you want to see my Barbie collection?"

Meg grimaced, "_You_ have a Barbie collection?"

"Yep. Sure do," Bobby said.

"Bobby, please don't tell Meg about your…effeminate side…" Hank said.

The gang ate breakfast, and then, they left the kitchen to watch TV. Just then, the phone rang. "I'll get it," Hank said. He picked up the phone. "Hello?" he asked.

"Hi. This is Lois Griffin. I'm calling random numbers. Sorry. Anyway, I'm wondering if you've seen my daughter."

"What's her name and what does she look like?" Hank asked.

"Well, she's got shoulder-length brown hair, usually wears a pink shirt with white trimmings, and has blue jeans. She also wears glasses," Lois said. Hank looked into the living room at Meg. She fit that exact description. He seemed a bit worried. "Oh, and her name is Meg."

Hank dropped the phone at that moment and looked stunned. "Dear Lord…" he gasped.

"Hello? Hello?" Lois's nasaly voice was heard on the dangling phone.

Hank picked up the phone again and managed to relax for a moment. "I'm sorry there, ma'am. Now what was your question?"

"Have you seen my daughter, Meg?" Lois asked.

"You're not going to believe this, but I think she's in my living room right now!" Hank said. "Just who exactly are you, anyway? She's officially our daughter now. We adopted her.

"Adopted her!" Lois exclaimed. "She's our daughter! What gives you the nerve to say that? Where are you?"

"I'm living in Texas. Listen, ma'am, my wife Peggy and I went to this child services center in Quahog, Rhode Island because we were looking for another child. She was there. We filled out the paperwork, and bam! It's done," Hank said.

Lois was speechless. What was going on? "Listen, why don't you bring Meg and your other family members up here and see if we can straighten this thing out?"

"Sounds like a good idea," Hank said. "I'll talk to you later. Bye, ma'am. See you in a few days."

Hank entered the living room. "What's going on, Hank?" Peggy asked.

"Everyone, we've got to leave to Rhode Island in the truck now," Hank said. "Something's going on here."

"What's going on?" Meg asked.

Hank sighed. "It seems as though this arrangement isn't completely official. Your parents weren't even aware of this matter. We have to straighten it out with them and the child services place." Everyone got in the truck, and Hank drove off to Rhode Island.


	8. The Fight

Chapter 8: The Fight

Four days later, Hank and the rest arrived at the Griffin household. Meg seemed a bit nervous, fearing Peter would humiliate her or degrade her in some way. Hank comforted her, however, saying that he would stand up for her. He knocked at the door, and Lois opened the door. She gasped and seemed shocked when she saw Hank. "My gosh! You're-you're…"

Peter walked up. "Oh, freakin' sweet! It's Hank Hill from _King of the Hill_!"

"Pleasure to meet you. You already know me. This is my wife, Peggy, and this is my son, Bobby," Hank said. Meg was hiding behind them. "And I hope you know who this is."

"Meg!" exclaimed Lois.

"Now just what's the deal here? She was at the child services place, and we signed all the paperwork. It's official as it could be. I don't see why you don't know about it. How did she even get there in the first place?" Hank said. Everyone looked at Meg.

"Well, this woman drove up to me and offered me a ride and said she was from child services," Meg said.

"Child services?" Peter said. "When did that happen?"

"It was that day when you threw me out of the house," Meg sighed, bowing her head in sorrow..

"You jackass!" Hank said. He invited himself inside. "What kind of operation are you running here, anyway?" He gasped in shock when he saw the rest of the Griffins. He saw Stewie sliding down the banister with his evil ray gun, firing lasers every which way. Brian was talking to himself about politics. Meanwhile, Chris was screaming at the top of his lungs, complaining about his evil monkey, who was chasing him.

"Mr. Griffin, I have to say you are the sorriest excuse for a parent I have ever seen," Hank said. Chris was running close by, and Hank grabbed him for a moment. "I mean, look at this boy. His hair is way too long. And your boy over there is playing with a ray gun. What do you have to say about this…disastrous mess?"

"You can't talk about my kids like that!" exclaimed Peter. He then punched Hank in the cheek.

"Oh, you want to get rough with me?" Hank challenged. "Well that's just fine, 'cause I can get rough with you, too!" Hank then punched Peter hard in the chest, slamming him against the wall. Peter retaliated and swung back, hitting Hank on the head as hard as he could. Hank lifted Peter by his massive throat and swung him backwards, slamming him against the other wall.

"Oh my…stop! Please stop!" Lois cried.

Peter charged toward Hank with a fist balled. Hank grabbed Peter's fist, twisted it, and then gave Peter a hard slap on the cheek and then kicked him hard on the back. "Ow-how-how! He hit me, Lois. Make him stop!" Peter cried.

"I'm sorry for causing this trouble, ma'am, but your husband here is really unfit to be a father," Hank said.

"You can't talk to Peter like that!" Lois said, punching Hank in the chest.

"You're lucky you're a lady, 'cause if you weren't I'd wrestle you to the ground," Hank said. "Now look, I don't want to fight. Let's straighten this whole thing out." Then, Peter got up, and then, Hank and he shook hands.


	9. Home Again

Chapter 9: Home Again

The Griffins and the Hills went to the child services center and explained the situation to the employees. They looked over the paperwork and voided the papers that the Hills had signed. Meg officially belonged to the Griffins. She was a bit uneasy, fearing more abuse from Peter. But Hank gave him a stern warning, telling him to clean up his act. Peter willingly agreed, fearing to get in another fight with Hank. After all, Hank was four inches taller than Peter and ten times as strong, so it was easy for him to win.

The Griffins and the Hills returned to the Griffin residence. "We're very sorry to cause all this trouble," Hank said. "We weren't aware of what was going on."

"It's all right," Lois said. "At least we got Meg back," she said, hugging her. "Won't you stay for dinner?"

"Yes ma'am," Hank said. "That would be very nice. Are you cooking our meal with propane?" Everyone groaned, and Hank laughed. "I'm just kidding, it's okay if your stove is electric."

That night, the Griffins and the Hills ate dinner together. Both families shared many hilarious experiences that they had. Even Brian joined in the conversation, and needless to say, the Hills were shocked to see a talking dog. Meg wasn't kidding after all.

Later, Hank, Peggy, and Bobby decided to leave for Texas. "Well, we'd better be on our way," Hank said. "Bye, y'all. Oh, and Peter," he said, taking him aside. Hank gave him a stern look in the eye. "Remember…I meant what I said. You mess with your kids, you mess with **_me_**. Got it?"

"Y-y-yes," Peter said, feeling very scared.

"Bye, now," Hank said, waving bye to the Griffins and shutting the door.

Lois went up to Meg and hugged her. "Oh, Meg, it's good to have you back," Lois said.

"You too, Mom," Meg said.

Peter walked over. "Meg…listen, I'm sorry about all that stuff I did," he said.

"All right, I forgive you," Meg said. Then, she and Peter hugged. "I'm going to my room now," she smiled. She then ran upstairs and suddenly screamed. "Who turned my room into an arcade?"

Everyone downstairs looked at Peter. "Hehehehehehehehehehehehehe," he giggled nervously.

The End


End file.
